Step 1 In Planning a Proposal

What is Big Sur?

Big Sur is a stunning and iconic stretch of coastline in California, located between Carmel-by-the-Sea and San Simeon. About a 90 mile stretch of windy coastal HWY 1.

I like to split Big Sur into North and South.

Both North and South Big Sur share:

• Breathtaking Scenery: The area is famous for its towering cliffs, turquoise waters, and scenic ocean vistas. It’s the perfect backdrop for a memorable proposal or romantic photoshoot.
• Natural Wonders: Big Sur is home to landmarks like Bixby Creek Bridge, McWay Falls (a waterfall that flows directly into the ocean), and Pfeiffer Beach, known for its purple sands and unique rock formations.
• Outdoor Activities: Couples can enjoy hiking trails in places like Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park, Garrapata State Park, and the Ventana Wilderness.
• Romantic Atmosphere: Big Sur’s secluded beaches, quiet forests, and luxurious world class resorts create a magical and intimate ambiance ideal for proposals.

South Big Sur

South Big Sur has more camping and a more secluded feel. This is where Pfeiffer State Park is. Also, Pfeiffer Beach. There is hardly any cell service in South Big Sur. Also, the roads are closed do mud slides and fires half the time. Coming from the south as of 2025 is still impossible do a landslide 2 years ago.

South Big Sur has 1 beach about 15 minutes down a bumpy road (Pfeiffer). This is a great beach for proposals! This beach is pretty popular in the summer and fall and parking is limited.

North Big Sur

The yellow circle above. To me, North Big Sur offers more in terms of proposals planning. North Big Sur is still very rugged and secluded. There are a lot opportunities for proposal scenes as well as accessible beaches. My favorite being, Garrapata Beach. Even after 10 years in the area, I still find this place insanely gorgeous and unique. There really is nothing like this area in the world. Also, this rea, while being secluded, is only about 15 -20 minutes from Carmel. So if you're planning a dinner or event after your proposal this makes this much easier.

In summary, Big Sur is a huge area with a lot of diversity, romance, and activities. For proposals, North Big Sur is where it is at.

Understanding Your Partner's Desire

Planning the perfect proposal is an exciting milestone, but it comes with a lot of pressure. At the heart of this planning lies one fundamental truth: understanding your partner’s desires is key.

As a proposal photographer, I’ve witnessed countless beautiful moments over the years, but one thing stands out—proposals that truly resonate are the ones tailored to the preferences and personality of the person being proposed to. Here’s why understanding your partner’s desires is so important.

1. Do They Want Their Picture Taken?

We live in a world filled with picture-perfect moments shared on Instagram, but not everyone feels comfortable in front of a camera. Some people treasure their privacy or simply don’t enjoy the spotlight. Knowing this ahead of time is crucial. A proposal photo shoot can feel awkward or intrusive if your partner isn’t on board with being photographed.

However, if capturing this moment is important to you, there are ways to keep it subtle and natural—like photographing from a distance or during a more candid moment. The key is striking the right balance so your partner feels comfortable and celebrated.

2. The Atmosphere Matters

Does your partner prefer quiet, intimate settings or vibrant, high-energy ones? This makes all the difference when selecting a location for your proposal.

Take Big Sur, for example. Its breathtaking cliffs, serene beaches, and dramatic scenery create a perfect backdrop for couples who dream of quiet, romantic moments. It’s ideal for those seeking an intimate proposal, away from the crowds and chaos.

But if your partner is more drawn to lively settings with a big party vibe, a bustling cityscape or private event space might be a better fit. Consider whether they’d love a grand floral arrangement on a private beach or the ability to celebrate immediately with a group of friends and family.

3. Family and Friends—To Include or Not?

Some people dream of a proposal with loved ones present, while others imagine the moment being just the two of you. Either way, it’s important to consider the logistics.

Big Sur, for instance, has some locations that lend themselves to intimate gatherings, but they’re often smaller spaces like cliff sides or secluded beaches. Keeping a crowd of family and friends hidden can be tricky. On the flip side, if your partner would prefer a more private moment, the quiet isolation of Big Sur can be the perfect setting.

4. Honoring Their Vision of the Day

At the end of the day, a proposal is a moment for both of you, but especially for the person being asked. Understanding their vision—their dream proposal—ensures that this milestone becomes a cherished memory.

When you truly consider your partner’s personality, likes, and dislikes, you’re not just planning a proposal—you’re creating a moment that’s as unique as your relationship. Whether it’s under the stars in Big Sur, at a rooftop party in the city, or in a cozy, private setting, tailoring your plans to their desires ensures they’ll say “yes” to more than just the question. They’ll say “yes” to a moment they’ll treasure forever.

Making Your Proposal and Event

Planning a proposal is about more than the moment itself—it’s about crafting an unforgettable experience for you and your partner. Over the past decade of photographing proposals in Big Sur, I’ve noticed something: couples who treat their proposal as part of a bigger story, a weekend event, often find the entire experience more meaningful and memorable.

Here’s how you can elevate your proposal into an event to remember:

1. Think About Dining and Activities

Big Sur offers some of the most breathtaking landscapes in the world, but it’s not just the views that make this area special—it’s the experiences. To enhance your weekend, consider adding activities and dining options that make the trip truly extraordinary.

Start with the incredible dining opportunities. Big Sur is home to world-class restaurants like The Sur House at Ventana, which offers jaw-dropping views to complement its refined menu. Alternatively, nearby Carmel boasts a wealth of dining experiences for every palate, from romantic fine dining to charming bistros. Sharing an exceptional meal after a proposal creates a perfect “cherry on top” to the big moment.

For activities, Big Sur has plenty to offer. Hiking, wine-tasting, or simply exploring iconic spots like McWay Falls or Pfeiffer Beach can turn a great weekend into an incredible one. These small, thoughtful additions transform your trip into a story, with the proposal as the crescendo moment.

2. Plan Your Itinerary Thoughtfully

A well-thought-out itinerary can make all the difference in how smoothly and enjoyably your weekend unfolds.

For example, if you’re flying in, decide whether to land at San Francisco or Monterey. While San Francisco might save you a little on airfare, the two-hour drive to Big Sur can eat into your precious weekend. If you can, I highly recommend flying into Monterey—it’s closer, saves time, and lets you start soaking in the experience sooner.

From there, build your itinerary like a story:

• Day 1: Arrive in Monterey, grab a quick bite or visit one of the local wineries, and enjoy the scenic drive down Highway 1 or the famous 17-Mile Drive. As you head toward Big Sur, stop at key scenic points to take in the views. Plan a light lunch or early dinner in Big Sur to fuel up before your proposal.

• Proposal Evening: Time your proposal for sunset—there’s nothing like the golden hour light in Big Sur. Once you’ve popped the question and captured the moment, head back to Carmel for a romantic dinner to celebrate.

• Day 2: Spend the next day hiking, exploring the beaches, or taking in Big Sur’s incredible natural beauty. End your second evening with a bigger, more celebratory dinner—ideally overlooking the ocean at sunset, so you can enjoy the views while you reflect on your unforgettable weekend.

3. Prioritize What’s Important

Every couple is different, and what matters most is crafting a weekend that feels meaningful to you and your partner. Maybe you want to keep things simple and focus on the proposal itself, or maybe you want to fill your weekend with activities and experiences.

One word of advice: if you’re only visiting for a short trip, skip the Monterey Bay Aquarium. While it’s an amazing experience, it can be time-consuming and might detract from other parts of your weekend. If you have three or more days, it’s worth the visit, but for a shorter trip, focus on what matters most—connecting with each other and creating unforgettable memories.

4. Treat It Like a Celebration

Ultimately, a proposal is more than a question—it’s the start of a new chapter. By viewing it as an event rather than a single moment, you can make the entire weekend feel special. Whether it’s the perfect meal, an exhilarating hike, or simply a quiet evening under the stars, these little touches turn your proposal into a story you’ll cherish forever.

Big Sur’s beauty makes it a dream destination for proposals, but it’s the thought and care you put into the experience that truly makes it unforgettable.

Post Proposal Celebrations

The moment you hear “yes!” is unforgettable, but what happens after can be just as meaningful. As a proposal photographer, I’ve seen a wide range of post-proposal celebrations, and a few approaches stand out as especially successful. Whether you’re planning a quiet moment for two or a joyful gathering with family, here are some tips to make the post-proposal celebration perfect for you and your partner.

1. Celebrate Intimately, Then With Family

One approach that works beautifully is to keep the proposal itself private—just you two on a cliffside, overlooking the crashing waves—and then transition to a celebratory dinner with family waiting for you.

This option tends to work well in Big Sur, not only because of the area’s intimate atmosphere but also due to logistical reasons. Cell service is spotty, and navigating Big Sur’s winding roads can be a challenge for larger groups. A formal dinner setting in a nearby town like Carmel or Monterey allows your family to easily join you in celebrating, while you and your partner still get to enjoy the magic of the proposal itself in a quiet, intimate moment.

Plus, having a planned dinner lets the celebration continue into the evening. You’ll get to share the news, relive the proposal moment, and toast to your future with those closest to you.

2. Include Family in the Proposal

For some couples, involving family in the proposal itself creates an even more memorable experience.

Here’s what I’ve seen work particularly well: family members arrive early at the proposal site to set up a thoughtful scene, like a floral arrangement, a picnic, or a custom sign. You and your partner walk into this picturesque setup, with the family out of sight, and you pop the question. Once your partner says “yes,” the family can join you a few minutes later to celebrate.

This approach adds an extra layer of surprise and joy, but it’s important to consider your partner’s personality and preferences. For some, a surprise family appearance might feel overwhelming, especially in the emotional moments immediately after the proposal. For others, it could be the perfect way to share the excitement with loved ones.

3. Plan for the Time

From a photographer’s perspective, incorporating family into your post-proposal plans can require a bit of extra thought.

Adding family often means dedicating more time for photos and celebrations. While your proposal is about the two of you, family involvement brings its own set of special moments—group photos, hugs, and plenty of excitement. To ensure you still have time to enjoy private moments as a couple, I recommend building in a buffer. Whether it’s before or after family joins you, having time to soak in the moment together is so important.

4. Customize to Your Relationship

As with every part of your proposal, it’s crucial to consider what feels meaningful to your relationship. Some couples love the energy of celebrating with family right away, while others prefer to keep the focus on their connection and share the news later.

There’s no right or wrong way to celebrate—just what feels most authentic to you and your partner. Whether you’re popping champagne with family or enjoying a quiet dinner for two, make the post-proposal celebration as special as the proposal itself.

Don't Over Complicate Things

When it comes to planning a proposal, there’s one golden rule: don’t overcomplicate things. Proposals are inherently beautiful, organic moments filled with love, and the simpler and more authentic they are, the better.

While most people don’t tend to overcomplicate their proposals, for those who—like me—tend to overthink, here are a few tips to help you keep things simple and meaningful:

1. Focus on What Matters: Your Love Story

It’s easy to get caught up in trying to recreate something you’ve seen online or plan a proposal that “measures up” to others. But the truth is, the best proposals are the ones that feel true to who you are as a couple.

Instead of focusing on appearances or impressing others, lean into what you love. Maybe it’s a simple walk along the cliffs of Big Sur, or perhaps it’s something a little extra, like renting a vintage Porsche from Monterey Touring Vehicles to elevate the day. The key is to do what makes you happy, because in the end, this moment is about celebrating your relationship—not meeting someone else’s expectations.

2. Embrace the Unexpected

Proposals often take place in public areas, which means there are some factors—like weather or other people—that are out of your control. A tourist might wander by, or a sudden drizzle might change your plans. Instead of letting these moments add stress, roll with the punches and make the most of them.

For example, if the weather turns rainy, it doesn’t mean the proposal is ruined. Some of the most stunning proposal photos I’ve taken are during overcast skies or in light rain, adding a romantic, moody vibe to the moment. Similarly, if you encounter a few onlookers or tourists, take it in stride—it’s all part of the story.

3. Plan Without Overplanning

Planning is important, but there’s no need to overdo it. Start with the basics:

• Choose a location that holds meaning for you or offers the vibe you’re going for.

• Decide on the timing, whether it’s a golden-hour sunset or a quiet morning.

• Consider small touches that elevate the experience—like a favorite song, a handwritten note, or a meaningful prop.

From there, let the rest unfold naturally. Trust me, overplanning every detail can take away from the spontaneity and joy of the moment.

4. Keep Perspective

Ultimately, this is about you and your partner. If you focus on the love you share and the excitement of starting a new chapter together, everything else will fall into place.

This isn’t about perfection; it’s about meaning. Whether your proposal involves a grand gesture or a simple, heartfelt question on a windswept cliff, what matters most is the love and intention behind it.

Let The Scenery Cook

When planning a proposal in Big Sur, one of the best decisions you can make is to let the scenery do the heavy lifting. Big Sur’s dramatic backdrop is truly one of nature’s masterpieces, and it’s often all you need to create a breathtaking, unforgettable moment.

The rugged cliffs that plunge into the ocean, the golden light spilling over rolling hills, and the endless expanse of the Pacific—Big Sur offers an unparalleled natural canvas. Unlike other locations that may require elaborate setups like florals or décor to make them special, Big Sur shines effortlessly.

That’s not to say those extra touches don’t have their place. A picnic, for example, can complement a beach proposal or add intimacy to a scenic spot. However, in Big Sur, the key is to embrace the wild, unspoiled beauty of the surroundings. In many cases, trying to outshine this stunning backdrop with too many add-ons can feel unnecessary or even take away from the magic.

Whether it’s a clifftop overlooking the ocean, a secluded beach, or a serene redwood grove, there are countless locations in Big Sur that speak for themselves. After we connect, I’ll help you narrow down the perfect spot for your proposal—one that aligns with your vision and embraces the essence of Big Sur’s beauty.

In the end, the real power of this place lies in its ability to create a scene that feels cinematic yet intimate, dramatic yet deeply personal. By leaning into the natural scenery, you ensure that the focus stays where it belongs: on the emotion, the moment, and, of course, your partner’s "yes."

Now it's time for the location!

We’ve covered so much in this blog post so far, and I hope it’s given you a solid foundation for planning your Big Sur or Carmel proposal. From understanding what makes Big Sur so magical, to thinking about your partner’s preferences and desires, to considering post-proposal celebrations, you’re well on your way to creating an unforgettable moment.

But now, it’s time to dive into one of the most exciting parts of the process—choosing the perfect location.

Big Sur is full of breathtaking options that can cater to just about any vision you have in mind. Picture proposing on a rugged cliffside with the waves crashing below, a serene and sandy beach at golden hour, or even a private pullout with stunning coastal views that feel like they were made just for the two of you. The possibilities are endless, and the location you choose will set the tone for your entire proposal story.

With everything we’ve discussed—your partner’s desires, the overall vibe you’re hoping to create, and the logistical considerations—it’s now time to focus on narrowing down those location options.

Ready to explore some stunning spots and find your dream location? Click here to dive into the next blog in my series: Planning the Perfect Proposal Location.